It Ain't Over Yet!

Today I almost gave up.

My husband's work truck broke down this morning and it was almost the straw that broke the camel's back. He suspects that it is the transmission, which will of course be very expensive. We have two other trucks for him to use, but this was the best of the three (bigger, pulls the trailer easier,etc.).

Our house is already up for sale so that we can take the money from it to pay off the car and beef up our marketing to build the business up to its potential. I know as a business owner you have to make sacrifices, but how do you continue to make those sacrifices when you can't seem to get a break?

As I drove home from dropping my son off at school, I had the fleeting thought of working outside the home again. Notice how I phrased that? I already work from home, and I am just now starting to see some money from it, albeit very little right now.

The thought process went like this: "You know, if you just went back to work, you would have a steady paycheck. You wouldn't have to worry about paying for health insurance. Your life would be so much different."

I was right. My life would be different. I wouldn't get to drop my son off at school. In fact, he wouldn't even be in preschool if I were working. I wouldn't get to share lunch with my kids. I wouldn't get to be 'Class Mom' or go on field trips.

Would this be better? Would this be better than Mommy being stressed out because just when Mom and Dad were on the cusp of setting things right, something else happened to mess it up? Would it better to fall asleep instantly from the fatigue of trying to run the house while working an outside job, instead of staying awake at night worrying?

After pondering the thought for a few hours, I decided that seeing my kids is definitely worth the stress. So what if the stress is giving me acid reflux, permanent PMS and multiple anxiety disorders? So what if I don't get more than 5 hours of sleep a night? So what if 'other' people don't think I can succeed?

Part of being a business owner is believing in yourself and doing the impossible. Impossible might be the wrong word. Improbable. Unlikely. Difficult. Tumultuous. Whichever way you word it, its hard work. And it's often, at least in the beginning, thankless work.

Overcoming this is what makes us strong. When things start to look down and I get bummed about working for myself, I think about the big wigs at IBM or Coca Cola. Every business had to start somewhere. It's where you take it that can make you successful.

Today has been my turning point.

Today I almost gave up.

But I didn't, so watch out. If you decide to join me, I'll be waiting for you…at the top.