Mommy Contracts

After being sick for the past week and a half, it made me wistfully think back to when I was teaching. There, I could take a sick day, drop my son off at childcare, and go back to bed. It's hard to believe that with all the time I have put in as a WAHM, I still haven't earned a sick day. All the all niters, the twenty hour days, the weekends, the working lunches and still nothing.

I thought about filing a complaint to the labor board, but then I remembered - Moms don't have a labor board. Sure, sometimes there are husbands who help out here and there, but for the most part, Moms negotiate their own contracts. And let me tell you, the terms of our contracts would send any pro athlete to a lockout before they could even finish reading it.

Maybe Moms who were unhappy with the terms of their contract could hire "Mommy Agents." Then we could work on a collective bargaining agreement that significant others would have to agree to before we returned to 'work.' We could include mandatory sick leave as needed, required breaks throughout the working period (either during the day or in the evenings, depending on whether you work outside the home or solely in the home), and a more equal distribution of labor.

But why stop with agents? Moms who were unhappy with their contracts could then go on strike until their terms were met. I know several Moms who have used this method very successfully.

Maybe then we could expand the idea of contracts to include signing bonuses. Moms could earn bonuses based factors like the quantity and quality of meals provided for the family. In my case, I would never earn this bonus, but then again maybe all I need is a bigger incentive.

The problem with contracts will occur when Moms begin to demand trades. Its one thing to renegotiate a contract, but it is entirely different when you begin asking to trade one of the kids for a draft pick.