Family Business

Obsess Much?

2006-02-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

My son has had several different obsessions in his short five years. His obsessions go something like this. He recognizes the toy, judges its irritability factor and then evaluates our ability to provide ample amounts of it. If it is difficult to find, it scores bonus points.

Then he talks about his “precious” ALL THE TIME. He dreams about it. He talks about how he is going to invite the characters over for a party. He takes the toy to sit with him while he eats breakfast; it waits while he takes a bath and even gets prime real estate on his pillow every night. He reads books about them so he can emulate their mannerisms to the highest degree of accuracy possible. This also serves him well when he is lecturing me about not following the correct protocol for whatever he supposed to be doing, including such seemingly simple tasks like WALKING and TALKING.

His first “love” was Rescue Heroes. If you aren’t familiar with the Rescue Heroes, let me tell you a bit about them. They are action heroes who run all over the globe helping people in need. There are no bad guys which is refreshing. They also have abnormally large feet, which tells me that the design team had a sense of humor, because we all know what they say about having large feet.

This particular obsession lasted over 2 years, which felt like 18 years to us considering how sick of them we were.

Right before his fifth birthday, he thankfully switched to Transformers. My husband loved this phase because it gave him an excuse to play with our son’s toys, since he just had to help him transform MegaOptiPrime-oid. If I had a dollar for every time my son came running up to me because Daddy wouldn’t give his toy back, I could fund a shopping spree.

Unfortunately for my husband, this phase has been cut short since our son has now started a new relationship with Star Wars. It started with the Star Wars Lego Game Cube game he received for Christmas and has continued with daily displays of various homemade Lego creations and flashlight light saber duels with his sister.

I have handled this obsession quite well since I harbored the same one when I was little. Now I know what it was like for my mom to endlessly listen to me drone on and on about light sabers, phasers and star destroyers. It is the classic “just-wait-till-you-have-kids-of-your-own” curse rearing its ugly head once again. Luckily he hasn’t resorted to making me call him by a different name. Yet. Until he gets to that point (I figure I have about 4-5 days still) I will continue arguing with him about who gets to be the Jedi and who gets to be the bad guy when we play. I’m older, so I should get first dibs anyway, right?

Alana Morales, who has a degree in Psychology and is a certified teacher, taught high school English for six years before staying home with her two children and becoming a freelance writer. Her fist book, Domestically Challenged, is due out in May. You can read more of Alana’s work and get information about her book at http://www.AlanaMorales.com.

Obsess Much?

2006-02-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

Post Vacation Stress Syndrome

2006-02-06T18:37:00.000-07:00

This past Monday my family and I returned home after our first real family vacation. It was wonderful – the kids acted great, the weather was good and overall it was an unforgettable experience.

So, what’s the problem you might ask?

Well, nobody told me what I would be dealing with after the vacation. You see, I was so worried about how the kids would react to being in a hotel room and being at a theme park, I never gave any thought to what it would be like after we returned home.

And of course, nobody warned me.

All week I have been dealing with the most bizarre behaviors, mostly from my daughter. For example, yesterday I actually had to tell her to stop spitting in her hands and wiping it in her hair while we were driving my son to school. I mean, who ever has to say such a thing to their kids (besides me, obviously)?

Next is the fighting. My kids barely fought at all during our trip, even after staying up until midnight, being in the same tiny hotel room and even sharing a bed. Apparently this was to preemptively make up for the fighting they have done this week. I feel like a referee at a boxing match – all I need now is a whistle, since both kids already have corners that they have become reacquainted with over the week.

What I really want to know is why this isn’t addressed anywhere. I read so much about preparing kids for a road trip, keeping them safe in large spaces and even how to make them sleep easier away from home. Why didn’t these same people also write about the fact that the recovery the week after the vacation would be worse than the post-Christmas let down?

I think I have sprouted 20 new gray hairs this week and 18 of the 20 have my daughters name on them. Maybe this is her way of acting out. She had a wonderful time in Disneyland, she was very well behaved and never got in trouble once. She didn’t cry when we left and she did a great job in the car for the 6 hour ride home. I think she was plotting her revenge.

I now know why families only go on vacation once a year. It’s because vacations take 3 months of preparation, 2 months to recover from and another 7 months to forget about how bad the recovery period was. So, based on this I have about 7 more weeks until this passes. Wish me luck.

Alana Morales taught high school English for six years before staying home with her two children and becoming a freelance writer. She is a co-host on the new online radio show Mom Writer’s Talk Radio (www.MomWritersTalkRadio.com). Her first book, Domestically Challenged, is due out in 2006. You can read more of Alana’s work and get information about her book at www.AlanaMorales.com.

The True Spirit of Christmas

2005-12-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Originally when I sat down to write my annual Christmas column, I had several potential hot topics to choose from. Let’s see, do I talk about my writers version of the 12 Days of Christmas, complete with requests for ear plugs and editor contracts or the difficulty husbands have when buying gifts for their wives (to which I can add a jewelry cleaner from my beloved). Or maybe I could write about the chaos of Christmas day with a large family. Surely, there are many moms out there that can relate to chaos.

I settled on writing about the spirit of Christmas. There are actually two spirits of Christmas – there’s the traditional one that makes us all feel warm and fuzzy inside and then there’s the one that makes people yell, swear and gesture wildly while trying to find gifts for all the people on their list, whether they really like them or not.

I was planning to address how bad this time of year has gotten, especially when you look at the amount of yelling and screaming that occurs between complete strangers at this time of year. I even had a story about a cute little 70 something year old grandmother who flipped off my husband and I. it seems she misunderstood our gestures – we were trying to let her know that she could have the spot we were going to pull into, and well, she gave us another gesture entirely.

I was planning to write about all of this, but that changed when I witnessed a small, but powerful, example of the true spirit of Christmas this past weekend.

My family and I were waiting to have our pictures taken at our local Target and due to some snafu or another, they were running late. Really late. Like, an hour and a half late.

While the various sets of parents were trying to keep their kids entertained without messing up their clothes, I noticed two little boys playing with in the bubble bath aisle. When it was time for one of the kids to leave, he told the other little boy that he was his new friend and that he was going to go buy him a present.

About 20 minutes later, the first kid returned to the picture area. There brief conversation went like this:

Kid #1: “Hey kid, hey friend!”
Kid #2: “Oh, hi!”
Kid #1: “Hi. I’m sorry, I know that your favorite is Spider Man and Batman, but I couldn’t find you that, so I got you this.”

He then presented Kid #2 with a brand new Toy Story book. He then ran back to his parents who were waiting at the end of the aisle and they left to go finish off their day, while Kid#2 lay down in the middle of the aisle to read his new book.

Did Kid #2 need the new book? I’m sure his mom could have bought it for him. But, you know what? Kid #1 said he was going to buy something for his new friend and did. The parents knew that they were practicing a random act of kindness, which is becoming a rarity in our world of rushing around and excesses, and they set an example that it is good to give to others, even if you don’t really know them all that well.

Leave it to a couple of three year olds to remind the adults what Christmas is all about.

Check out www.alanamorales.com...

That WAHM Buzz

2005-11-11T18:57:00.000-07:00

I get a buzz from working from home. Not from the adrenaline of being able to juggle 47 things at a time. Not from the sense of accomplishment at the end of a long, hard day. Nope. My buzz of choice is from caffeine.

I am a card carrying member of the Two Pepsi A Day club. The only problem is that it isn’t working for me anymore. I am staying up later and getting up at the same time, which is creating a sort of comatose evil twin side of me that I haven’t seen since my kids’ newborn days. I have had several friends tell me that I need to switch to coffee because the effects are stronger.

Other than the fact that we sounded like a bunch of drug addicts, I thought this was a good idea. I have always secretly been a little jealous of the people who can walk into a Starbucks and get warm frothy loving’ in the form of a Styrofoam cup.

I thought about heading to my local coffee palace to have them suggest which drink I should start my addiction with, but I was worried that I would incite a riot. I’m not sure who would have started it though – the people who work at Starbucks clawing to get me hooked on their most expensive product or the people behind me in line waiting for their cup o’ joe while a newbie was broken in.

Because I am a closet nerd, I went to the Starbucks website for some education. On their site, they offer 29 different varieties of coffee. 29?!?! Are they kidding? Then I saw that they offered a coffee education section. Perfect.

Here I tried their Coffee Taste Matcher. This is a device that should, in theory, match you with your perfect cup of coffee. I thought I had found the help I so desperately needed. Then I started reading the questions. One of them asked if I liked my coffee “complex enough to make me think.” Huh? Don’t I do enough thinking all day without needing my coffee to add to it? And what would it make me think about?

Another question wanted to know if coffee was a “culinary experience” that would “challenge me to find new flavors.” How many different flavors can one have in one cup of coffee? And a culinary experience? Please. A culinary experience for me is cooking something that doesn’t come out of a box and is edible.

Well it turns out that if I want to be adventurous, I could get some of their Colombia Nariño Supremo. It is described as a nutty blend (perfect for me) and went on to say that coffees from this particular region “are celebrated for their great balance, medium body and clean finish.” I had to double check the page I was on, because I thought I had stumbled onto a beer website. How can coffee have a clear finish?

This coffee stuff is complicated. Maybe I will just kick up my caffeine a notch by switching to Red Bull. At least for that I won’t have to do research.

A Homemade Halloween – Help!

2005-11-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

One week before Halloween, my husband and I are wondering what on Earth we were thinking.

When we had kids, I decided that I would like to make their costumes each year. Even though store bought costumes can be cute, I get tired of seeing the same 10 costumes on every kid out there. I want my kids to be unique and that includes their Halloween costume.

We’ve had it pretty easy the past few years. My son has been a football player, a pirate and a Rescue Hero – all relatively easy costumes to make, even for someone as craft illiterate as me. Last year our daughter was Blue from Blues Clues and her costume was so cute I wish I could have made her the same one this year.

Our kids, going with their general trend of being difficult and demanding, want to go as Sharkboy and Lavagirl this year. While very cute for a brother sister pair, these are difficult costumes to make from scratch. Now, I have no idea what Disney was thinking, but they did not make costumes for this movie. Disney, who would make coordinated character toilet paper for a movie if they thought it would sell, did not make any costumes for this movie.

After trolling on EBay one night, my husband and I thought we were saved when we found a Sharkboy vest that someone had made. The way I see it, buying it wouldn’t really break my pact for a homemade costume because it was made in someone’s home, just not mine.
Unfortunately, this costume didn’t pass our son’s inspection which means we still have to figure out how to make our son look like Sharkboy in the next 6 days or so.

Since EBay was a bust, I spent part of the afternoon attempting to draw the beginnings of a Lavagirl costume. I think I can get away doing this costume. Since my daughter is only two she won’t know if the lava trails on her costume are directly proportionate with the actual character.

I wish I could say the same for my son. He got my husband’s eye for art, which means that my best attempt at anything artistic will fall miserably short of his expectations. I only hope that we can get him to overlook the fact that his fins are not the same shade of gray as Sharkboy’s by reminding him of the mass amounts of candy he’s going to get.

All this angst for what? Oh, that’s right - ten dollars worth of candy and a costume that my kids will wear one time. At least now I have a whole year to convince them that their costumes for next year should be ghosts.

When Multi-Tasking Goes Bad

2005-10-04T07:25:00.000-07:00

Now that I have been a work at home mom for well over a year now I have become the Queen of multi-tasking.

How can this be a bad thing? Well, I now completely lack the ability to do less than three things at a time. When I sit down to watch a movie or TV show, I am still working or thinking about working or feeling guilty about not working.

I decided to make a chart of my daily activities and how they get completed.

When I eat breakfast, I am also emptying the dishwasher, feeding and cleaning up the kids from their breakfast and cleaning my kitchen from the night before.

When I am folding clothes, I am also getting snacks, getting my son’s backpack ready for the next day or refereeing a karate match between my kids.

When I am driving, I am going through spelling words with my son, thinking about the work I need to do that day, or trying to remember what I need from the store.

When I am going to the bathroom – wait a minute. I don’t get to go to the bathroom for more than 27 seconds anyway, so that doesn’t really leave time for much else. Except yelling down the hall at my daughter who now knows how to open up the drawers in the kitchen.
My husband is starting to get frustrated with me because when I do get to spend a little time with him in the evening, my mind is always elsewhere. Which I think is ironic, considering that it is usually the woman who is mad at the husband for being distracted all the time.

Torture for me would be to sit me on the couch with absolutely nothing – no paper, no pens to write on my hand with, no articles to read. Then make sure the kitchen was messy and my kid’s clothes needed to be washed. Then just force me to sit there and do nothing.

After about 19 seconds I would begin to tremble. After a minute I would look like I was going through detox. After about 5 minutes, you would have to strap me to the couch, because that would be the only way I would be able to not do anything.

What if it is like a drug addiction and I have to add more and more tasks to my plate? Where would I be able to draw the line? Is there a limit to how many tasks a woman can tackle at a time?

Just think, if I could be a guy for a day, I wouldn’t have any problem with this. After being married for almost ten years, I am convinced that the only multi-tasking men can do is read while going to the bathroom. Just think about how much less productive women would be if we were like this?

Dads Are Just Taller Kids

2005-09-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

We all know that dads are really just bigger kids, but this is never more apparent when there are toys involved.

For my son’s 5th birthday this past week, we decided to get him some Transformers. Since Transformers are a bit more difficult to find out here (meaning I can’t find them at Target), I took the kids on a little adventure to the place parents dislike more than all the kid food places combined – Toys R Us.

Once we got there, I called my husband to let him know that we going to be looking for the new Toys that our son was coveting. The call went like this:

Me: “OK, we are here looking at the Transformers now.”

Him: “Well, why don’t you see if they have a Decepticon.”

Me: “Um, ok…”

I noticed that his voice sounded a little funny and then he started talking a little faster.

Him: “Or, you could look and see if they have a Blasticon or a blah blah-icon or…”

I had to stop him. I said “Honey, I realize you had Transformers when you were younger, but don’t you think they may have changed in the past 20 years?”

He was actually name dropping about toys! After laughing hysterically at him, he informed me that he would pick out the toys himself, which was fine with me.

After my son opened his new Toys, my husband had to show him how to put them together. Now, I imagine that as a young boy, part of the joy of having a new Toy is pretending like you know how it works, then spending the next 2 hours trying to figure out how it actually works. Apparently, it works this way for the big guys too.

I had to physically take the toy away from my husband so my son could put it together. I’m not sure if my husband was more upset at the fact that I took the Toy away from him or that he didn’t get the Toy figured out before I took it away.

Later that evening, my son came knocking on my door while I was working. He knows that I am not to be disturbed unless someone is in need of serious medical or Mommy attention, so I answered. He was coming to ask me if I would get his toy back from his dad. It seems that Dad needed to “show him how to properly transform” his Toy.

I had to gently let my husband know that the new Toys were for our son, and that he had to let our son figure out the Toy first, unless he asked for help. Luckily, my son received two of the new Toys, so now there is one for each of them.

My Little Boy is Growing Up!

2005-09-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every boy’s life where he goes from being a preschooler to a full fledged boy. This event can be signified by his graduation from the wholesome and educational morning cartoons to the ones that teach kids absolutely nothing. It also includes anything that includes violence, taking things apart, moving at high velocities and loud noises.

Case in point. Our normally semi-calm drive to school has been replaced by a drive time version of “Friday Night at the Fight” flawlessly played out on the swing down arm rest in between the kid’s seats.

Before school today we had a battle between my son’s Emily Elizabeth cracker and my daughters T-Bone cracker. After school, the card included my son’s Transformer versus my daughters Aidan from Barbie and the Magic Pegasus.

After I put a stop to the fight (I had to call it – the Transformer way out matched poor Aidan) there was relative calm. That’s when I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed my son using the Transformer to shave off miniscule crumbs off his cracker. After ending the senseless shaving of the Clifford cracker, he used the Transformer to ‘vacuum’ up the crumbs, which translates to pushing them off the armrest where they will now become one with the seat.

Who knew a Transformer could be a fighter, a scraper and a vacuum all in the span of a 7 mile drive?

Considering what he can come up with in the car, I shouldn’t be surprised at what he comes up with in the house. One time he made his own laptop with a lid from a copy paper box, some tin foil and a baby rattle. Yes, my son really is a 5 year old version of MacGyver.

He recently came to me very upset, holding an old clock my grandmother had given him. It seems that he took as much of it apart as he could, then tried putting it back together. He was upset because he had a screw left over and he couldn’t figure out where it went.

I tried to comfort him, but since my husband is the one with the vast experience in this area, I sent my son off to ask his dad where to put the screw.

Needless to say, my son’s big boy antics will definitely keep me on my toes. At least once my daughter is older I will have the entertainment value of boxing matches between Barbie’s and Transformers.

Birthday Parties Made Complex

2005-08-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

I have been stressed out lately with working and trying to get my first book manuscript written, so I decided that I needed a little R & R. So what did I do? I started planning my son’s birthday party.

I am actually a bit late in starting. His birthday is in one month, so I am already beginning to run out of time.

Now wait. Before you start lecturing me about the size of kid’s birthday parties and going overboard, let me warn you. I know the perils of having a party that is too big, but it doesn’t apply to my family. Here’s why.

My husband has an enormous family. For our daughter’s second birthday, we had 45 people in our house and we were missing close to ten people. Out of the 45 only about 8 were family friends. All the rest was family.

Can you sit there and tell me that I have to choose which family members not to invite? I didn’t think so.

For my son’s party, we are running into a different problem. We want to invite more of his friends, which means that if we were to have the party at our house, we would have about 15 kids running around hyped up on sugar. Our house is crazy with two kids running around with no sugar, so as you can see, this is not an option.

Then we debated how grandparents would feel going to a kid place for a party. Since the idea of explaining to my German grandmother that at her age she probably shouldn’t be on the air bouncey equipment doesn’t sound like fun, we decided that we needed to do something else.

In our infinite brilliance, we have decided to have two parties – one at a kid place and then a barbeque at our house later for the family. As I get ready to write out the invitations, I can’t help but wonder at what we were thinking. We wanted to be outside of the house so we didn’t have the mess to clean up, but instead of being out of the house, we are having two parties on the same day, one of which is at the house.

Hmmm. I’m not quite sure what made us think this was a good idea. Yes, we get the kids out of our house for the party, but we still have to buy food and clean. Yes, my son will be able to focus on the presents he gets from people, instead of rifling through them at mach 5, but as parents, how are we going to handle two parties on one day?

Well, until we figure that one out, I think I will go back to relaxing – you know, figuring out what food to have, writing so many invitations that I get carpel tunnel instantly. All the fun stuff that goes with a mom’s R & R.

Thankfully Back to School

2005-08-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

I have never been as excited for school to begin as I am this year.

This year my son begins Kindergarten. While I am thrilled beyond belief at this milestone in his life, I am also thrilled for another reason. You see, once school begins, I can get the kids back on a regular schedule and get my work schedule back in order.

It may sound a little callous, but when you have to get work done and you have a summer filled with swim lessons, trips to the mall and other less structured activities, it makes working at home very difficult.

Besides, I can’t take the fighting anymore. My daughter, whose case of the terrible twos is rivaling John McEnroe during his early years, loves violence. My son loves to push her buttons. That leaves me with a 5 year old boy screaming at the top of his lungs because his little sister chucked a Matchbox car at his head – again- because he has been taking her toys away from her for the past 20 minutes.

I can ship my son off to school, but what to do with my daughter? I considered doing something like Gymboree classes, but quite frankly, one hour per week will not make a dent in her energy levels. I need something like a terrible twos boot camp, where there are drill instructors available to deal with the kids when they laugh hysterically while in their 5th time out of the afternoon.

She needs to be around other kids her age anyway. This will prove my point that she is not the only little girl on the planet and that despite what she thinks, she cannot do and have whatever she wants. My only fear is that she will band together with others of her kind. What happens then? What if she corrupts the other little angels and I have to answer to their parents? I remember seeing kids like her in my son’s classes. I also remember thinking that I was sooo glad that it wasn’t me. It’s that whole circle of life/karma/curse of our mothers coming back to haunt me. (You do know the curse of the mother right? It starts with “When you have kids, I hope they…).

Well, until I find the magical activity that works with her, I will have to be satisfied with my son going to school and at least being away from his sister for a few hours. At least that way she will have less time to give him goose eggs on his forehead.

When Calgon Isn’t Enough

2005-07-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

As a mom, I always got a kick out of the old Calgon commercials. They would show a woman with great skin and no bags under her eyes and the audience was supposed to believe that she had enough troubles that she needed to “get away.” Then she would draw herself a bath and calmly get in and somehow her troubles slipped away.

How unrealistic. First of all, if this woman had been a mom, there is no way she would have been able to draw a bath without being disturbed unless it was after 10 pm. Then she would get in the bath, but still be tense because even though she was supposed to be relaxing, she was instead thinking about the child who might be sick, the bills that needed to be paid or the work she needed to get done.

Once the mom finally did begin to relax, she would run the risk of drowning because she fell asleep in the bathtub.

I would like someone to develop a realistic way for women to get some relaxation that easy. Maybe we could use the dust from Harry Potter and instantly transport ourselves to a peaceful place. If we had the time stopper, we could go to a peaceful place and be back without losing any precious time.

How big would a realistic bottle of Calgon have to be to actually take our problems away? Would we have to use so much that we would be floating in a tub full of goo? On second thought, that wouldn’t be very relaxing because we would be too worried about the mess the goo would make.

Maybe you have to combine the Calgon with a certain “organic” shampoo and conditioner? The women in those commercials always look refreshed (or is it flushed)? Would you then be using a double strength shot of stress relief?

I can see the beginning of an entrepreneurial venture here. Someone could work to make a product like Calgon, but in industrial strength. Once they develop that, they need to work double time to make it available in inhaler form. Then, when you are running late and trying to get out the door and one of the kids spills an entire box of cereal on the floor while the other one smashes it into the tile grout, moms could just take a puff of their “stress be gone” inhaler and not have any worries.

Until then, moms will have to be content with pretending to be taken away by our baths. Right now, it’s a much better alternative then being taken away by two guys in white coats.

A Night Without My Boys (and girl!) Part Two

2005-07-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

The last time I wrote a column with this title, it was just over a year ago and my husband had taken my son on his first fishing trip away from home.

Last week, I was away from my family for the first time ever for my very first business trip. Almost two full nights by myself.

I had very lofty goals for this trip. I was going to arrive at the resort early enough to get a massage. I was going to do a little work, then work on my book that I have in progress, before falling blissfully asleep.

I obviously lost my goals on the drive, because they were no where to be found. I arrived at the hotel an hour too late for a massage. I had to wait over 30 minutes for room service to bring my salad – which ended up not agreeing with me later. I got my laptop set up, and after about 15 minutes of work felt like I was going to pass out from exhaustion. Seemed like a perfect time to go to bed, wouldn’t you think? Unfortunately, I not only had trouble falling asleep, but I woke up every hour all night.

I was so disappointed. I finally had the opportunity to sleep for a full night without worrying about one of the kids waking up and I couldn’t sleep.

I did have a little satisfaction knowing that my husband had a tough time at home. His first evening was spent with some friends of ours who came over to help him wear out the kids. Talk about cheating. It was also amusing to hear my husband complaining about not being able to take a shower until the kids went to bed. All I could think was “Welcome to my world.”

The next night went a little better, with the kids only getting to bed about 1.5 hours later than normal, after having eaten the same dinner two nights in a row.

Did they get a bath? No.

Did he remember to brush their teeth? Nope.

Luckily, they were wearing different clothes when I got home.

This taught me two very important lessons. One, I am not easily dispensable to my family, even though I sometimes feel like I am. And two, I can in fact, safely leave my family for over 24 hours without a major catastrophe occurring.

My kids might not smell as pretty, but at least I can feel confident that they will be in one piece.

Babysitter Blues

2005-06-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

I have the world’s best babysitter. The problem? Other people agree with me. My babysitter is so popular that I have to schedule months in advance. I would be better off trying to get season tickets to the Packers than trying to schedule a date night with my husband.

When I sit down to schedule with her, it’s like playing a grown up version of “Go Fish.” Scheduling goes like this:

“Do you have Saturday the 12th open?”
“Nope.”
“How about the 19th?”
“Let me see…yes, I-“
“I’ll take it!”
I do a little dance, my husband gives me a high five and then we move on to the next date.

Many have suggested that I find a backup sitter. With my work schedule the way it is, I know it seems like a very reasonable idea, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. When I was teaching, I had a plethora of sitters available to me. Now that I am out of the school system, I have no idea how to find somebody with a pulse and half a brain, much less someone who is good enough to watch my kids.

Some people think I am too picky, but with my kid’s allergies, I kind of have to be. With the wrong snack having the ability to send my son to the emergency room, I need someone who can follow directions and has a way with kids.

I thought about finding a woman who did in home child care, but that didn’t work out. The first woman I visited allowed the kids to play with the vacuum cleaner. Call me overprotective, but I generally don’t let my kids play with household appliances.

My next thought was to find a late high school or early college kid to watch the kids at my house. The trouble is I have NO IDEA where to find a kid like this who is trustworthy enough. Sure if I had thought about it soon enough I could have asked my former teaching colleagues before vacation started, but that would take foresight, which I seem to be lacking. I could just go to places where kids hang out during the summer, but every time I go to the mall I spend too much money.

For now I have decided to keep the babysitter I have and try to work around her limited availability. I suggested she start a website so her clients could schedule online (yes, she has THAT many), but then I would want her to let me design it so I could rig it. It’s sad, I know, but I am a desperate woman.

The Beauty of a Business Trip

2005-05-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

I have the pleasure of going on a monthly business trip to the beautiful Sedona Arizona. Even though it is for business, it definitely has its perks.

One of the biggest perks is getting to drive by myself for the five hour round trip. No listening to my son’s favorite song seven times (which is a nice plus considering his favorite song is an old ‘NSync song). No complaining because I want to listen to sports radio. No one kicking the back of my seat or throwing cars at each other or, well, you get the idea.

Another plus is that while I am waiting for meetings to begin, I can usually get in at least an hour of work time. It’s amazing how much I can get done in an hour when I don’t have the stress of worrying about what the kids are doing. Even though I have an office door I can lock, they’re still in the back of my mind.

I have developed a tendency to stall a bit on my way home too. I have discovered that I can make a brief stop at the outlying outlet mall and one of the millions of Starbucks on my way home and not be too delayed. I miss my family while I am gone, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t also enjoy the time to myself.

I think the biggest benefit to the business trip is feeling like my own person. It’s nice to have adult, business conversations without muting the phone so that the person on the other end doesn’t hear the kids fighting over a Happy Meal toy. It’s also nice to be able to feel like something other than a mom. I love being a mom, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world (unless you catch me when my kids are staging an uprising), but there is still part of me that misses being a working woman.

I miss the playful banter with colleagues. I miss the satisfaction of handling work problems. I miss having people coming to me for answers that do not involve food, clothes, or bodily functions. But as I get ready to drop my son off at school, I realize that I would miss my kids a lot more. At least I get one break a month, right?

Looming Summer Vacation Horrifies WAH Parents Everywhere

2005-05-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

In a few short weeks, parents everywhere will be struck with terror. What two words can send parents into a hair pulling, anxiety laden state of horror? Summer Vacation.

I am already panicked about this and I still have a few weeks until it arrives. I already have the sitter set up for a few hours a week and we have swim lessons scheduled, but that's it. How am I going to get any work done?

Living in Arizona makes it 10 times worse too. In other states, you can tell kids to go outside and play. Here, you could tell them to go outside and play, but within 10 minutes they would melt and be bubbling on the sidewalk.

Therefore, I have come up with a preliminary plan for the summer.

Cooking - Two days a week
I keep reading that cooking with your kids is a good thing, so I think I will give this a try. My son has food allergies, so it's always more challenging. (Note to self - buy some cook books. I might be able to learn how to cook at the same time.)

Crafts - Two days a week
I know of plenty of places that sell easy craft kits and I know I can print ideas off the net, so setting this up will be easy. Since I am not the artistic one in the family, I always have to be real careful what I do, because when my husband gets home he loves to point out that my 4 year olds project is way better than mine. (Note to self - find some way to adapt the projects for the 2 year old so that she isn't A. running away from me with scissors or B. making glue a food group.)

Library day - one time a week
If I schedule this one religiously, it should help me to avoid turning my books in late, which I do on a regular basis. I am pretty sure my local library has me listed as a source of income in their budget.

My teaching skills are going to come in handy while creating my 3 month tactical plan. At least when it's over, I will be able to add 'survival of summer vacation' to my parenting resume. If nothing else, I will have much more writing material.

Mommy Contracts

2005-04-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

After being sick for the past week and a half, it made me wistfully think back to when I was teaching. There, I could take a sick day, drop my son off at childcare, and go back to bed. It's hard to believe that with all the time I have put in as a WAHM, I still haven't earned a sick day. All the all niters, the twenty hour days, the weekends, the working lunches and still nothing.

I thought about filing a complaint to the labor board, but then I remembered - Moms don't have a labor board. Sure, sometimes there are husbands who help out here and there, but for the most part, Moms negotiate their own contracts. And let me tell you, the terms of our contracts would send any pro athlete to a lockout before they could even finish reading it.

Maybe Moms who were unhappy with the terms of their contract could hire "Mommy Agents." Then we could work on a collective bargaining agreement that significant others would have to agree to before we returned to 'work.' We could include mandatory sick leave as needed, required breaks throughout the working period (either during the day or in the evenings, depending on whether you work outside the home or solely in the home), and a more equal distribution of labor.

But why stop with agents? Moms who were unhappy with their contracts could then go on strike until their terms were met. I know several Moms who have used this method very successfully.

Maybe then we could expand the idea of contracts to include signing bonuses. Moms could earn bonuses based factors like the quantity and quality of meals provided for the family. In my case, I would never earn this bonus, but then again maybe all I need is a bigger incentive.

The problem with contracts will occur when Moms begin to demand trades. Its one thing to renegotiate a contract, but it is entirely different when you begin asking to trade one of the kids for a draft pick.

Crisis Management

2005-04-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I learned a valuable lesson about having a home business. Not only will it give you a tremendous rush in the moments you achieve success, but it will also give you massive ulcers during the times when things just don't work out.

This weekend was one of those times. I'm not sure if it was the particular alignment of the stars or a weird curse, but nothing went right this weekend.

It began with my computer. For some reason, my computer came down with a sever case of constipation. It was locking up approximately every 3.2 seconds for several hours, until the lock up became permanent. I would insert a hockey joke here, but hockey fans are a little crazy, so there is no telling what they might try and do to me.

I decided that I would begrudgingly have to use my husband's laptop until I could get my computer fixed. The problem with this solution was the fact that he worked until 8pm all weekend long and the laptop was with him. This was on top of the fact that my car had recently broken down and I was stranded at home.

While this situation was inherently frustrating, it was made even more so because I had papers to get out to clients that I couldn't get out. When you are a mom who has to take care of the kids, how do you get around an issue like this without either making your kids or clients unhappy? By having a Crisis Management Plan. Do I have one? Of course not, because if I did, none of my weekend issues would matter. However, I have determined that I will have one by the end of the week.

The most difficult part of the plan will be how to deal with clients. For example, how do you ensure client satisfaction when your kid is really sick? Do you turn off the "MOM" sensor in you that wants to nurture your kid until they are better and leave them on the couch while you do work? Or do you side with your child at the expense of making a client mad?

This is the dilemma of being a work at home mom. On one hand you are stressed about your family, wondering if you are doing enough for them and on the other hand, you have the desire to succeed and the desire to build up your business, because you want to prove that you can do it.

The lesson of the day? Create a backup plan. You never know when you will need it, and when you need it and don't have it I guarantee you will want it.

The Mythical 25th Hour

2005-04-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure I am just about ready to have a cataclysmic nervous breakdown.

I stole a few moments last week to think about my daily and weekly schedule and I came to a realization. When I tell people I don't have time for something, I mean it. I literally do not have any more time available in my day, unless I decide to cut out sleep. Based on reports about sleep deprivation psychosis, I have determined that this is not a viable option.

This is a sample day in my life:

7:30 - 8:00 AM - Drag myself or flop out of bed to get ready and get the kids downstairs. Luckily, my son, who wakes up at the crack of dawn, has learned to entertain himself until I can fall out of bed. Unfortunately, his new morning routine includes waking up his sister and putting various toys into her crib with her.

8:00 - 9:00 AM - Get the kids fed and clean the kitchen from the night before. As much as I miss my husband and as much as I think he works too much, it never ceases to amaze me how much messier the house gets when he is home.

9:00 - 10:00 AM - Baths for the kids. Since Dad is only home in the evenings, they get their baths when he isn't home.

10:00 - 10:30 AM - Switch over laundry, vacuum, wash floor - depending on what needs to be done that day.

10:30 - 11:00 AM - Lunch for the kids. I am usually straightening or getting stuff ready for school, so if I do eat, its standing up.

11:00 - 12:00 PM - Take son to school.

12:00 - 2:00 PM - Put daughter down for nap and work like crazy for two hours. I usually get into a good flow about 1:45.

2:00 - 3:00 PM - Pick up son from school.

3:00 - 5:00 PM - Play with kids. Stress out about having to figure out dinner.

5:00 - 7:00 PM - Fix dinner, clean up after dinner, stare at clock waiting for husband to get home.

7:00 - 7:12 PM - Talk to husband and hand over kids.

7:13 - 10 or 11:00 - Work. Try to balance Pepsi consumption somewhere between having enough to keep my eyes open with at least minimal brain functioning without preventing sleep when I do actually make it to bed.

2 minutes after lying down - Fall into a coma-like state, which I like to call "black sleep." Technically you slept, but you certainly don't feel like it.

This is my schedule during the week. On top of this I have to deal with the usual family crises, like doctor appointments and runs to Target, and deal with my Mom, who just doesn't understand why I don't come over for lunch with the kids during the week.

This is why I need to find a 25th hour. I would love to work out, read a book or even get my eyebrows waxed on time, instead of waiting until I have a caterpillar uni-brow. But until I learn how to freeze time or find a watch like the one from the movie "Clockstoppers," it seems I am destined to continue to stagger through this period in life like a puffy eyed zombie looking for their next caffeine fix.

Curse You, Spring Break!!

2005-03-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

Just when I was beginning to fall into a routine, Spring Break had to throw a monkey wrench into my plans.

Never mind that we recently moved. Or that my husband recently took on a "real" job on top of having the business. No, now I have to try and find a way to keep my son entertained for an entire week, without the welcome release of him running around with 19 others of his kind for 3 hours a day.

What am I going to do to keep him occupied for the next week? How will I prevent him from tormenting his little sister and causing mental damage? And even more, how will I prevent him from tormenting ME and causing ME mental damage?

I have tried to prepare myself. I bought PlayDoh. I bought Silly Putty. I bought more crayons. I even bought him a new bike. The question remains - will it be enough?

The first day went ok, but only because I didn't play fair. I took the kids on a little shopping trip. Lots of driving = sleepy kids. The funny part about the whole day was the fact that the hit of the day was 2 flyswatters that I picked up at IKEA for $1. Who knew that you could play "Indoor Bug Swatter Hockey" and keep a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old entertained for several hours?

Please don’t get the wrong impression. I love seeing my son and he is not a bad kid. In fact, he won a character award for last quarter (and yes that IS a shameless brag for him!). It's just that when you mess up both his routine and mine, there is no telling what will happen. The sad part is that I think I have more trouble with the routine change than he does.

I tried to get some work done while he was having "quiet time" but it didn’t happen because his sister woke up after sleeping for 20 minutes. 20 minutes? This never happens. Oh, wait. This never happens unless I need her to sleep for some reason.

When we went to the grocery store to stock up for the week, my husband made sure I had the necessary supplies as well. When he went to restock my Pepsi supply, he quickly grabbed 2 boxes, stating that "I was in for a long week." While on the surface this seems thoughtful and sweet, let me mention that he is going out of town with his two best friends and leaving me with the kids for 4 nights straight. And he's going to Vegas. Talk about adding insult to injury.

It also makes me wonder what on Earth I am going to do this summer? Can you send 4 year olds to summer camp? If so, will they take toddler siblings? My babysitter, if she weren't so darn busy already, could make soooo much money off of me it's not even funny. I could probably single handedly put her through college - but then I wouldn't have the fun of juggling the no nap days with the ones where my son is a spark waiting to be discharged.

Obviously, the person who came up with the brilliant idea for Spring Break did not have any kids. Or maybe it goes back to the curse parents always put on their kids (the one where they say "One day, when you have kids, I hope they "). Whatever the case, it goes to show that you can have too much of a good thing.

Hmmmm, Decisions, Decisions

2005-03-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

As a work at home mom, we are always faced with difficult decisions. Decisions like, "OK, should I finish my report or watch yet another rerun of Law & Order SVU?" or "Do I want to wear the grey sweats or the black ones?" (By the way, the black sweats show kid stains more, just so you know)

Today, I was faced with yet another difficult decision - should I clean up my house or give my kids a bath? Now, don’t automatically assume that I am a bad mother. I have a set routine, and when I deviate from it, I get confused. I am used to giving the kids a bath in the morning so they can play with their dad more in the evening.

Well, ever since we moved, I have been keeping the house pretty clean. Please don't be disappointed, I got into the habit when the house for sale, and if it makes you feel any better, my bathroom is messy. On this particular morning, I had a weird bug that was making me feel anxious because the house hadn't been vacuumed in a few days.

Thus was my dilemma - did I give the kids a bath and put off the cleaning for who knows how long, or do I clean the house and risk not having enough time to get the kids clean?

Now, normal moms probably don't have this dilemma, they just get up early, clean while their kids sleep blissfully, then lovingly bathe them. Not in my world. Every morning is a new adventure. If I wake up early, one of the kids will wake up early. If I wake up early to curl my hair, my daughter wakes up early. It is impossible to accomplish any type of personal hygiene task with her around. If I wake up early and try to go back to sleep, my son will wake up early and talk my ears off at decibels rivaling a major airport.

Bath time is a whole other adventure. During this time, I get to try and wash and detangle my daughter's hair (which looks a little like Bob Ross' hair when she wakes up) while convincing her that it is, in fact, not a good idea to jump up and down in the bathtub. My son, on the other hand, does fairly well, except that he runs around like a screaming chicken with its head cut off (yes, I realize that a chicken without a head can't scream, but you get the idea) and I literally have to corner him to get him in the bath.

On this morning, I made an executive decision. I decided to let the kids watch their morning cartoons while I vacuumed and straightened up the kitchen, then I shortened their baths, which they both protested.

Did it work? Today it did. Will it ever work again? Knowing my kids, probably not. They are the masters of adapting to their environment. By the time I develop a viable solution to a problem, they have already evolved well beyond. If this continues, I'm in big trouble when they reach puberty.

Superwoman Has Left the Building!

2005-02-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

I recently had a major meltdown. Not quite a land you in the hospital meltdown, but more like permanent PMS, entire family needs to walk on eggshells or I'm leaving meltdown.

I am trying to do too much, but I don't really have a choice. I work for a company from home, which I enjoy, plus I have my business, which I also enjoy, plus I get to be home with my kids (which I almost always enjoy). How many working women would jump at a chance to be able to work from home, make a decent salary, have health benefits and not have to pay for child care?

Unfortunately, with my meltdown, I have come to realize that I do need to have a little childcare help. I have learned that it is not necessarily a good thing to feed your kids microwave chicken three nights in a row or go running back to your office the second your husband sets foot in the driveway. It's not good when your son asks, in a very loud voice in a crowded store "Mom, what's that for?" when you are holding a mop. It's not good to have to switch from your daily work time Pepsi to a daily and nightly Red Bull. (You know how they say it gives you wings? It's actually the buzzing sound you hear from all that caffeine flowing through your veins. Trust me. I know.)

I was so stressed out that I was actually trembling. This made me realize that it was time to take action and bring in help. Sure, I will have to pay for it, but at least I will be able to get work done while it is still light and maybe even get to sit on the couch for a few uninterrupted minutes with my husband in the evening every once in a while without feeling like I am doing something wrong.

Surprisingly enough, my husband was all for me having the sitter come over a few days a week. Apparently, he likes the idea of me being able to go to bed at the same time that he does. I don't like the chink it puts in my superhero armor, but it's time to suck it up. A mom who is a few bucks lighter per week is a much better alternative than a mom who is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, if you know what I mean.

So, beginning today, I will have the sitter here watching the kids while I work away. Since I now have an office door I can shut (and lock!), I will have several uninterrupted hours to get some work done. My big challenge will be to ONLY do work during that time frame. I may have to lock myself in the office to resist the temptation of accomplishing "Mommy tasks" without kids hanging off my pockets. Earlier, I caught myself daydreaming about running errands without the kids. Maybe, just maybe, in a few weeks I will loosen my own leash a little and allow myself to take some ME time while the sitter is here.

For now, I will settle for working while my kids are in the other room screaming and playing. Maybe I should throw a few extra bucks to the sitter and let her figure out what's for dinner? At least then I would know they would be eating something other than my meal especial - microwaved Dino chicken.

Please Send Mittens and Gas!

2005-02-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

Right now, I am trying to figure out what on earth my husband and I were thinking.

This weekend, we experienced one of life's biggest forms of upheaval - we moved. What made it even more difficult is that we took our kids with us. Granted, we only moved 10 miles away, but it still was (is) one of the worst experiences we have had together.

We thought we were doing pretty well. We picked up our moving truck early, and even loaded some boxes early. The next morning it all began to unravel.

The first kink in the move was the fact that almost everyone who committed to helping us move bailed on us or changed their terms. My dad, who was scheduled to help us early that morning, didn't show up until after 11. Loading the truck took FOREVER. I decided to take the kids to the new place to wait and went to turn on the heat. Nothing.

It turns out, the community we moved into is a gas community. Guess what runs on gas? The heater and hot water heater. At our old house, the gas was provided by the city, so you didn't have to have a separate company for your gas and water. Not so in the new city.

I called the new gas company and learned that it would be 13 days before we could get the heat turned on. How on Earth could my family go for 13 DAYS WITHOUT HEAT AND WATER? Well, I couldn't figure it out either. I actually called the gas company on a Sunday and because they had a huge outage on the other side of the valley I live in, they answered. I was able to get the gas turned on 7 days earlier, which left us with a total of 5 days without heat and gas.

This forced my husband and me to be more resourceful. While boiling water for the kids' baths, we discovered that boiling water on all four burners heated up the house nicely. Unfortunately, we also discovered that if you boil that much water continuously, it will ruin your stock pots (three in all).

Besides the problem with our heat, I am waiting until we get the money from the sale of our house to get my office set up. This means that right now, I am typing on my keyboard and looking out the window of my office. My monitor sits about two feet away on my filing cabinet. I would have liked to put it on the table with my keyboard, but the table is only 18 inches wide, so not much fits on there.

I have been trying desperately to get back into the habit of working, but with icy cold hands and feet, boxes in the living room, driving further to take my son to school, and a post office who has "misplaced" our new mail key, it's been a little difficult. Maybe once I regain feeling in my hands and feet and I unpack the vast amounts of junk that I somehow fit on my broken desk, I will be able to get back to my previous levels of productivity. Until then, I am going to go warm my hands over the oven.

Be Safe or Be Sorry

2005-01-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

Last week, during a burst of productivity, I was interrupted by a knock at my front door. Because our house was up for sale, I opened the door, thinking maybe someone was coming to view the house without my knowledge (which has happened before).

I opened the door to see a kid who told me that he was trying to earn money for college and earned points for communicating with people. Because I was so absorbed in my work, I didn't think twice about it initially. He asked me about important lessons I learned from college, what one piece of advice would I give him about college, blah, blah, blah.

I stood there and chatted with him for a few minutes about college and work and the like. Finally, about 4 minutes into this conversation a little voice in the back of my mind said "Hey Alana, why are you still talking to this kid?" It was about this time that he pulled out the dreaded magazine book.

He continued our conversation by stating that "Well, people are just picking out a magazine to show their support and help me earn points."

"Welllll," I responded slowly, "I thought you got points for talking to people."

This is where he started to get pushy. "Well, just pick out a magazine or book."

I then explained to this guy (whom I had just noticed was about 6'4 and pretty built) that I am a writer, so I get free books and magazines all the time. Yes, this was an exaggeration, but if any time was the appropriate time to exaggerate, this was it.

At this, he quickly turned on his heels and walked to the sidewalk, where my husband was loading some equipment onto his truck. This guy proceeded to tell my husband that I told him (the guy) to talk to my husband about buying some magazines. When my husband declined, the guy took off.

Now, by this point, I had already shut and locked the door back and gone back to work, though not as productively as before. Something was bothering me, but it took me a few minutes to put my finger on it.

I quickly talked with my husband about the situation and then he went back to work. He called me about two minutes later, giving me the make, model, and license plate number of the car the guy was driving. It seems my husband had seen the guy driving slowly through our neighborhood and watched him use several exits from the neighborhood.

This made the hairs on my arms stand up a bit (and there isn't much there, which made it even more alarming).

What on Earth was I thinking when I opened that door? What if they had been casing houses? What if he came back, knowing I worked from home because I told him, and attacked me?

Needless to say, I never heard anything about the vehicle, though I did call the cops. I definitely learned my lesson. I'm just thankful that my five minutes of stupidity didn't end up putting myself, or even worse, my kids in danger.

An Office Of My Own

2004-12-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

I am not like other women. Some women dream of being beautiful. Some dream of torrid affairs with hunks from TV. Me? I dream of having an office with a door.

I know it's boring, but once you know what I am dealing with, you will understand. Right now, my office is in the den, which is open to our great room. It's nice to be able to see my family while I am working but there is one major problem with it - I can see my family while I am working and what's even worse is that they can see me.

What would a work session be without my son popping up in my back pocket machine gunning questions at me? Or my daughter yelling "Mommy!!!!" at the top of her lungs while climbing the gate with my husband playing video games on the floor and telling me that he's keeping her entertained? I'll tell you what it would be. Peaceful.

When we move, I have it all worked out. I am redoing the entire office in Ikea (one opened up a few months ago here - finally!) and I am going to make sure it has a lock on the door. It won't share space with toys, or a Christmas tree, or stuff to be stored. It will have a desk, several bookshelves and chairs, including one just for reading and one that is actually an office chair.

I know that many women work at home to be with their family and I am all for that. But when your family has open access to you whenever they want during your work time, that is not necessarily a good thing.

To be completely honest, I am not even sure I will be able to work without hearing the TV and the kids in the background. Will I even be able to get down to work without having to ignore little people doing whatever it takes to get my attention?

I am sure I will rise to the occasion and find a way to work while only hearing the sounds of a woman at work - the keyboard keys typing, a pencil scraping across the paper, papers rustling as they are filed away in their respective places. For now, I will keep working through the noise of the dishwasher and my kids, while stepping over the race track to get to my chair, which I had to move away from the Christmas tree, while I found a new spot for the boxes that were planted on my chair which is a renegade from my dining room table. Yup, I will keep working and keep dreaming - if I can sleep through all that.

For Sale...

2004-12-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

My husband and I figured that our lives weren't complicated enough lately, so we decided to sell our house. We love the house we have now, but with two VERY active kids running around and two businesses being run from the house we have determined that we need more room.

This works fine for my husband. He is out on calls all day, so when people are viewing the house, he is out in the field. I have the pleasure of keeping the house in "model house" shape with two kids running around it. I am beginning to think it would be easier to learn to fly a plane or speak Latin over keeping up with the mess of two young kids.

Here is a typical morning interaction with my kids:
Me: "OK, now don't pull out too many toys in case someone comes over to look at the house."
Son: "But mom, I want to play Rescue Heroes!"

Note: This is going on as my daughter is throwing toys out of the toy box over her shoulder. I don't think she is looking for a particular toy so much as she is looking for the bottom of the toy box.

Me: "I know you do, but if someone comes over to look at the house, we are going to have to clean up quickly."
Son: "Mom, when are we going to sell the house?"
Me: "We're trying son. That's why we have to keep it so clean."
Son: "But when is someone actually going to buy it?"

This is about the time I get frustrated. One time, in a bit of frustration, I told him that someone would buy the house on Friday. Guess what he does every Friday? "Mom, is someone going to buy the house today?" I suppose that's what I get for giving him an answer to get him to quit asking me.

I also made the mistake of telling my son that the next time someone came to look at the house, we would go to Toys R Us. With absolutely no intention of buying anything, I loaded up my kids on a weekend two weeks before Christmas, and went to Toys R Us. How many of you can claim THAT type of parenting blunder?

In the past 10 days we have had over 30 sets of people walk through our house. About 20% of those have come over with about 15 minutes notice. Have you ever tried to clean up after two kids in 15 minutes? Remember, this is not just a "clean up because you have company coming over" type of clean but a "the house needs to look sterile" clean. Thanks to my kids this usually includes reorganizing my son's closet floor because he wanted the toy at the back of the closet that he hasn't played with in three months and replacing the 50 movies that my daughter has pulled off the movie rack while I turned my back.

Between that and picking up renegade Cheerios that have somehow ended up in the hallway, I've often wondered if it would be easier to keep the house and sell the kids. Of course, if I did that I would need to keep them clean instead of the house. I guess I like to pick and choose my battles.

It Ain't Over Yet!

2004-12-17T00:06:00.000-07:00

Today I almost gave up.

My husband's work truck broke down this morning and it was almost the straw that broke the camel's back. He suspects that it is the transmission, which will of course be very expensive. We have two other trucks for him to use, but this was the best of the three (bigger, pulls the trailer easier,etc.).

Our house is already up for sale so that we can take the money from it to pay off the car and beef up our marketing to build the business up to its potential. I know as a business owner you have to make sacrifices, but how do you continue to make those sacrifices when you can't seem to get a break?

As I drove home from dropping my son off at school, I had the fleeting thought of working outside the home again. Notice how I phrased that? I already work from home, and I am just now starting to see some money from it, albeit very little right now.

The thought process went like this: "You know, if you just went back to work, you would have a steady paycheck. You wouldn't have to worry about paying for health insurance. Your life would be so much different."

I was right. My life would be different. I wouldn't get to drop my son off at school. In fact, he wouldn't even be in preschool if I were working. I wouldn't get to share lunch with my kids. I wouldn't get to be 'Class Mom' or go on field trips.

Would this be better? Would this be better than Mommy being stressed out because just when Mom and Dad were on the cusp of setting things right, something else happened to mess it up? Would it better to fall asleep instantly from the fatigue of trying to run the house while working an outside job, instead of staying awake at night worrying?

After pondering the thought for a few hours, I decided that seeing my kids is definitely worth the stress. So what if the stress is giving me acid reflux, permanent PMS and multiple anxiety disorders? So what if I don't get more than 5 hours of sleep a night? So what if 'other' people don't think I can succeed?

Part of being a business owner is believing in yourself and doing the impossible. Impossible might be the wrong word. Improbable. Unlikely. Difficult. Tumultuous. Whichever way you word it, its hard work. And it's often, at least in the beginning, thankless work.

Overcoming this is what makes us strong. When things start to look down and I get bummed about working for myself, I think about the big wigs at IBM or Coca Cola. Every business had to start somewhere. It's where you take it that can make you successful.

Today has been my turning point.

Today I almost gave up.

But I didn't, so watch out. If you decide to join me, I'll be waiting for you…at the top.